The art of being 'solo'
and actually loving it
I am beyond fed up with people complaining about ‘not finding the one’…which one!?? Wtf are you talking about? Who on earth told you you need ONE to complete you??
Sorry, I get carried away very easily with this topic and I am a fire type of woman by nature.
Listen to the audio version here:
I get it. We were taught that after getting an education and/or a job, the ‘norm’ was to find someone who you fall in love with and then you marry and then you have kids and the rest-we-all-know… but, honestly, how many people you know - probably older than you - who did all that and currently has either divorced or you can see that they are unhappy as hell?
I know, I know! Some people are actually happy in their marriage and bla,bla,bla…ok, but I don’t know any… s-i-m-p-l-e truth.
A broken heart
Perhaps I just have a broken heart when it comes to romantic relationships, that’s true as well. So, hey! stop reading this as I will bring you down and that is not my intention.
You know how food has a best-before date? I think romance also has this feature.
Come on! Nothing is forever and the Universe is in constant change…how do you assume that you fall in love with someone and, after years and years and changes in both (including physical changes that attracted you in the first place) it all keeps alive as if nothing has actually changed??
Think about it.
When you buy a house, you love it and can’t wait to decorate…when you buy a new car, you can’t wait to drive it…but after years…this excitement dies off…it is natural law.
Same happens with love…
Fuck Love
Love… what’s love? I love my kids and I love my lovely roses in the garden, they are beautiful. I also love the damn chocolate ice-cream and, regrettably, wine…fucking hell, I love so many ‘bad’ things!
How do we link ‘love’ with sexual attraction and, at the same time, with a profound universal opening of the heart?
You heart cracks open when you look at your new-born baby’s eyes, right? You would literally give your own life away for them.
Also, think about when you see people suffering and you feel compassion (because we all do feel that way unless you are a psychopath). You don’t really want other people suffer.
In essence, we are kind and loving but when we take parts and identify ourselves with stupid labels, we become irrational motherfuckers and hate installs itself in our circuits taking over our true loving nature.
Labels piss me off
Some boring soul commented on X about me being ‘bothered’ by labels following one of my comment on that. Bothered… I just can’t identify myself with them, with any of them.
Some are obvious, like being Spanish…well, I am Spanish as per my passport but it does not mean I actively identify with it AND position myself against whoever is NOT like me and lash out at whoever has a different nationality.
If you know me (you can know me better on my OF page) you’ll know I can come across as a little crazy and a free spirit. Well, I am.
Especially, after the last few years that I started this new career of creating spicy content online (yes, my life changed 100%).
I believe that most of the troubles in the existing society/world/matrix is caused by people identifying with labels (call it groups, parties, movements, colors, etc…) or, basically, dividing themselves from the rest when, in reality, we are all ONE and the same nature.
Being ‘solo’
This is what I think (remember, I am weird). We are naturally ‘solo’ when we grow up and sometimes through our student years…then we (normally) hook up with someone in our younger years.
Then some people marry that first sweetheart and others just go though a few of them until settling down (God do I dislike that word!). But, in essence, we are never ‘solo’ as adults and, if we are, it is considered as a failure.
Whether because you’re the eternal single or because you’ve divorced and cannot find ‘another victim’…come on!!
Why not embrace your solitude? Why not embrace being with yourself!?
I mean…have you even tried? Do you actually enjoy yourself or you can’t stand being YOU? Because if you can’t…how on earth someone else will??
So, you don’t want to be on your own because…what?? You are boring? Bland? Dull? Not worth it? Not interesting?…then…why do you want to force that horror profile on someone else!??
How about you learn to enjoy yourself with yourself, around yourself…you ,you, you…and become that person who actually, you would spend your time with no question!
That person worth a lifetime spent with them, that person who you can look at in the same way you look at your new-born’’s eyes and think: Damn…I love you so much!
And then, only then…go out into the world confident you are worth the best of relationships BUT, very important, if you don’t succeed it’s fine because at the end of the day, you have you and you are whole and you’re OK.